Her Story Forbid
by CyKiESuMMerS
Summary: You still carry books and exchange love notes with girls who sign their names with hearts and lip prints.You still count cheese puffs and chocolate as daily nutrition. You still laugh at crude cartoons. You still make my heart flutter like a little girl's


**A.N.: This is movie verse, pre movie plot and stuff. A look at JOTT as how I imagine it could have been in the movies and before. I am thinking of putting this as a chapter in my story; Cruel Intentions, so please give me your valued opinion of whether or not this should be in it or just be its own little one shot. I'm not asking for drugs or wine or spare change. Just some good ole feedback. R&R! make yourself useful. Hehe. Thank you readers!**

-1-

**Scarlet Hair, Eyes, and Letter**

"M-Ms. Grey?"

"Jean. It's Jean. And what is it Scott?"

"I'd never done that before... I mean...it..."

Oh God, what have I done now?

"I know Scott. I'm a telepath." Of course anyone who refers to 'it' as 'it', has never done it, and is obviously most likely a minor and far too young for me. Why do I do this to myself and others?

"Thank you."

"Hm?"

He grinned. Oh that charming, lopsided, gorgeous, irresistable grin that got me started here in the first place. That grin that began it all. Grinning like an innocent, oblivious, and pure little boy, high school student, who just got laid for the first time. That grin will be the death of me.

"Thank you for that. It was AWESOME."

His cute innocence spreads to me and I can't help but smile as well. His grin is contagious. It _was_ awesome, and very very amazing, and he is just so...

Oh Jean, what have you done now? I stop and my guilt allows me to not get ahead of myself. I feel like a youth again and like he has filled me with his own exuberant energy and that feeling I get when I look at his handsome face or watch him work passionately and intensely at something he enjoys, is magnified within me now and I am bursting, just knowing he is part of me now.

What do I do now? Why did my body choose this moment to act on whim and pent up lust? Why didn't I think of the consequences and everything else? This is my job, my home, HIS home, our home... There are responsibilities I am to take.

I'm beginning to feel horrible, as I should. The shame as an older woman who has taken advantage of her good little student, is seeping in, and I feel like I've done something so wrong. What is wrong with me? What kind of pre middle age crisis is this?

Yes, maybe I should not have allowed myself even the privacy of my own secret crush on a student of mine. A harmless crush, or so I'd thought. More like a fancy, of had I been his age, I know I would have admired his sharp wit, good looks, easy-going nature, kindness, and strength. And oh goodness, that body. That fantastic, ripped, tan body.

Goodness me, am I BLUSHING? What is this? A high school aged student has caused me to blush!

I don't deserve that grin he is sending my way, I don't deserve the delirious and kind thoughts he is thinking of me right now. I ought to wear a scarlet A and never show my face in this mansion again. He should hate me right now for stealing his innocence, for being so weak and pitiful as someone who is supposed to represent a role model and good mutant citizen.

Scott, will you forgive me? Can I even forgive myself? Yet that silly grin, takes it all away... I feel foolish, but his good vibes are too tempting.

What have I done? This is the fearless leader, the good little boy scout and golden boy so cherished of our institute. At such a young age, he is so jaded still, and yet retains his purity and golden heart. He is the team leader and I have stripped him of his reserve and dignity.

Please stop grinning at me like that Scott, oh goodness, please stop touching me like this. I can't...help myself around you. Don't you know that by now? Do you know it and is it deliberate? That made me hope...

You still carry books and exchange love notes with girls who sign their names with hearts and lip prints. You are still allowed the right to write X's and O's to them, you still count cheese puffs and chocolate as daily nutrition. You still blush and look away when an older woman shows some skin. You still laugh at crude cartoons and sleep in so late on weekends, and you can still wear flannel pajama pants with dogs on them without ridicule. You still have yet to need to shave and you still have smooth skin and have not grown hair on your chest yet. You still make my heart flutter like a little girl's when you grin my way...

How can I have done this to you? Why did I have to be so selfish and put my desire before our friendship, respect, and circumstances?

Still...

When I sneak out of the medical wing where this all initiated when you innocently were sent to me, trusting me, for my profession and duty to patch you back up and heal you, with abrasions on your forehead and a painful looking wound to your wonderful forearm, I cannot supress this giddy secret in my heart.

Dealing with adults my age is a lot harder than I had expected. If only I had known...been aware...

With Ororo, she can sense something is amiss and does not question, only serves me her herbal tea. I feel like a fool, smiling so deliriously and I want to blurt out, "I had me a beautiful boy!" No, that sounds wrong... More like , "I made Scott Summers a man!" No, even worse. Okay fine, "I HAD SEX WITH SCOTT SUMMERS!"

Oh goodness... Did I really just blurt that outloud? She dropped her tea pot and is staring at me now like I am crazy. Maybe I am. This is what you do to me, Scott.

I feel myself go on fire and turn, muffling something out like an excuse, saying I have to go and I more or less run.

And run into the one person I really do not want to see or have to deal with. The one person who should never find out and most likely will. The one person I really can't hide my crime from.

"Hey there cowgirl, darlin', where you goin' in such a hurry? Really that excited to find me?"

I look down, unable to look him in the face. In fear of him just reading it there, plain as daylight.

"Oh, hey Logan."

I mumble into my hand as I stare at my toes.

I feel like a little girl who has eaten the last cookie from the cookie jar.

"I was thinkin'...we can go fetch a couple beers or somethin' together. You and me. Have some fun. Ya look like ya could use a man t'night. Eh?"

I am burning.

He sniffs suddenly, brow suddenly tight and frowing.

I force myself to look him in the face and he is looking at me strangely, questioningly.

He is not at ease and shifts from heavy foot to heavy foot. "Somethin'...different about ya today Red. Maybe new perfume? Ya look a little...off. How is our little hero by the way? The squirt all good to go now? When we sent him to get your medical attention, he was sayin' he was fine and just needed a band aid. Yeah right, the kid was bleedin' by the bucket and all. High tolerance for pain, huh? Must be the tough street livin' in him. Hope he didn't give you too much trouble and just let you patch him up. Hard headed, no matter how good a temperance Charles says he got."

I don't move or say a word. He sniffs deeper and sucks in air through his nostrils. "Wait a sec... Somethin' you ain't...tellin' me Red? I smell more than just blood and rubbin' alcohol..."

I step backwards, nervous as hell. I can almost smell myself reeking of Scott's scent, of the sweats of hot passion, lust, my own desire mixed in with a juvenile boy's uncertainty and my own stimulation.

I have never felt so ashamed and yet so proud of something I shouldn't really be proud of.

A dangerous, animal look flashes in Wolverine's eyes. It's time to jet out of here.

I need to find Scott, face my shame and guilt, and get to him before Logan does.

Poor guy, didn't even know what I was getting him into...

Please don't hate me for this Scott.

**A.N.: Reviews would be much appreciated! Merci beaucoup!**


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